when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
