I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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