Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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