I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize