my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
