...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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