You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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