Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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