I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
