You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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