did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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