smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
