She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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