My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
PS: I just woke up from my shower
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
