New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
