its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize