Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
