I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
