i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
