She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
