Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I am naked and annoyed.
did i just pee glitter
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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