Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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