Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Randomize
