So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
don't judge my taste in strippers
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
