Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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