She's JV to your varsity
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
