OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
