i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
