I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
