i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
How external is "for external use only"?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm always down for nudity.
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