you would pick up someone in the library
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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