Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
