are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
