My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
