All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
