what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
