She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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