Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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