this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
In America we eat man semen.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
