your room smells of hookers.
And success
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
