You're so nebulous sometimes
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I smell like Dick and happiness
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
