i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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