I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
