Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
