i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
