I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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