just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize