Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Don't tell me you're on acid again
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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