yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Is Oprah even human
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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