i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
