Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I understand Curling. That high.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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