I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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