Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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