i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Randomize
