I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize