dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
