I hate your face
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize