we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
