I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
