Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
