Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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