Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
